You Don’t Need A Poster Board

It’s better if you don’t.

By Alec Thomas

First off I want to exclaim my hilarity at the fact of the image above, seeing as whoever made this proposal clearly did not read The Great Gatsby, considering the amount of issues and affairs the book entailed.

Second off, this column isn’t just Prom specific proposals. This is all high school dance proposals. And third off (is that a thing?) I just want to say that this isn’t some type of hate thread just because I haven’t been asked to a dance or asked someone else but rather it’s because I truly believe they’re just, well, dumb.

Let’s start off with the easy stuff. The fact is that Promposals, Homecoming proposals, or even Sadie Hawkins proposals are overdone and too elaborate. And I don’t mean the idea of asking someone to go to a dance with you, but rather the trend nowadays that you need a posterboard with a ton of puns about something the other person likes a lot to ask them. Or when you have someone film you asking the person if they want to go together, especially in a public scene is honestly just kind of rude. I mean if we actually look at it, you’re basically putting the person on the spot in front of all their peers (and the camera!), and if they say no, then they just look like a total ass (and yes, that’s a quarter) but people forget that it’s okay to say no. But if they say yes, then it’s all over social media and everybody forgets about it in maybe a month’s time. And when you look at it analytically, it’s all about the attention for the one’s that are doing the asking.

I even had a friend last year who asked a girl to Prom in his math class that they have together, and she said yes in front of everyone. He was super excited and amped to go, for a short maybe, 45 minutes? Then after class, she set him aside and told him she didn’t actually want to go to Prom with him, and that she’d “rather go with friends instead”, which we all know is just an excuse to say no, but not in front of peers. Which I totally understand, just so that she doesn’t get embarrassed. But when did people begin to have this standard to even start doing this in the first place? Why do they need to be so elaborate? What happened to just literally walking up to the person in the hallway that you want to ask and just simply asking them? The only point of asking somebody to go to a dance with some big proposal is literally to only get attention from other people, which for some reason as humans we just completely adore.

Or instead, we’ll take a look at couples that are together already and have to ask each other. This is where I feel like the actual asking part is strangely unusual. I mean if you guys have been together already for this long, it’s almost guaranteed that you guys are either going to Prom, Sadie’s—or whatever dance it is—together. Now this is where the real attention craving comes in. You’re literally only doing this to gain attention from your peers and not really just to be with your significant other. If you’re going together, you shouldn’t have to make up some big way to ask them, and the fact that people sort of expect that now, is just awkward. You shouldn’t have to ask in some grand way, and if you’re a couple, it’s just generally assumed you’ll go together. The only reason you’re doing it is because it’s a fad that you want to participate in it. It’s fun, sure, but what’s the point of all of it? What’s the significance of all the elaborate spectacle that you have to make?

Promposals have now turned into a big deal and have set the standard for any sort of dance. I never saw the importance of Prom, I went to it last year and went to three homecomings (and I probably could’ve only gone to one and had the same experience, but I like dressing up). It doesn’t make sense to me why some people would go over the top just to ask someone to Prom or Sadie’s for literally just one night, and even then it’s only a couple of hours you’re spending with this person. Not to mention that if you do ask someone that the relationship you create is going to even go anywhere.

It makes guys feel like they’re pressured to have do something elaborate, expensive, or “something new” to impress the person they’re asking. People seem to forget that this is just a school dance—not a marriage proposal. And don’t even try to forget the sheer amount of pressure on the person getting asked to say “yes” when they’re being asked by another person they barely know. I mean, if some girl came up to me and asked me to go to Sadie’s with her and I literally barely even know her, my response would immediately be a no. And I’m sorry for that, but it’s just because of the fact that I don’t know who you are and it’s creepy that you’re asking me. It’s so much less pressuring to say no to a person who didn’t just spend money and went through a bunch of trouble to ask you. Especially one that could’ve been stalking your social media accounts more times than they’d probably care to admit. Promposals are really just unnecessary, awkward, and are more trouble than they’re worth.

(Also as a sidenote, to the image below, can we all just agree how stupid this one is? This person is literally creating arson for a Promposal, and unless you have a fetish for felonies, probably isn’t going to get the person to say yes).

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